Monday, December 27, 2010

Taking me back (throwback)

Growth is amazing. When I look at the things I had to go thru to be where I am today, and all the things that I am still going to have to go thru, I am overwhelmed. I started writing as a means of expressing my feelings I couldn't do verbally, release stress, analyzation the strongholds in my life, growth in who I was and initiating change. This was written at a lost part of my life and was the catalyst to identifying a problem in my life and resolving to change it. ENJOY!

I have let too many people come in and out of my life. They have entered my space and invaded my territory. But I play the good host and give them all a welcome present that soon becomes a parting gift. Because as quickly as the enter they leave.

I barely remember their names and vaguely recall their stories. Even some that wanted to stay, I pushed out to make room for the new group of visitors. "Don't take your shoes off, you wont be here that long" is what's written on the door mat. "You will be made to feel like you are invited to stay forever, but you are not. Admission is free and open to whoever shows interest", reads the sign at the entrance.

And everyone through the door comes and leaves with their gift. I have nothing material to offer so I started giving pieces of myself. One piece here, another there; I am spread all over different parts of the country. One person may have my knee on a mantle while the other has my heart thrown under the bed... I have had so many visitors that there is not much of me left and the employees who maintain the house are working for free. I have nothing t give them. They stay because they believe in this house, even more than I do. They know how special it is suppose to be and have hope for it's return to glory.

I am torn apart and spread to thin. Now I have reached a turning point. I am taking what is left of me and going around to everyone who has stepping into my space and taking back what is mine. "You don't deserve it and I need me back!" The house is now closed and my employees will be the new recipients of all of my pieces. Because I know they will stay in the house and put the pieces together the way they should be. I am not giving any more of myself to just anyone who walks through my door, but instead to people who have helped me build the house that it opens into.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I Quit (throwback)

Here is another blog I wrote one day after a long day of work back when I was still in corporate america... It's amazing how when pushed to a limit, you can find the power to speak things into existence. I guess I followed thru on my promises to myself.

Sanchez Dictionary~ I Quit- I am leaving this place and transcending to a higher state of being that was originally written in my destiny.

I am going to write my way out of Corporate America

I am going to draw my way out of Corporate America

I am going to think my way out of Corporate America

I am going to read, design, talk, educate, socialize, inspire,

and entertain my way out of corporate America

When it is Monday and your first thought is that I wish it was Friday

It is time to quit

When you paycheck never seems to equate to a weeks worth of slave time

It is time to quit

When our streets are in peril but all the worthy young men and women are too busy at work

It is time to quit

When the streets and corrupt media are raising our kids

It is time to quit

When the cost of living is rising higher than you paycheck

It is time to quit

When you find you’re self unhappy, at home writing a blog about how much you want to work your way out of corporate America…… It is time to quit!

So…… I Quit! From today on… I quit.

Cooperate America is just going to be my tool until those two sweet words flow off my lips and into the ears of those who have been trapped by the Ultimate Slave Master we affectionately call Corporate America!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Losing it! (throwback)

This was written when I was still in corporate america. I am posting it to remind me of how grateful I should be that I transended from this place and also cuz I am sure some people out there can identify with this. I read it and was like WOW! This was real emotion. This is a stream of consciousness that I typed as I got to work one morning and the frustration was too much for me not to express it in some way. (Edited for adult content)

I am about to f$^*ing scream!
Am I just born to be a rebel, spoiled, impossible to please, lazy or lost? Seriously, what the f@#^ has me in such discontent. Why is it the thought of getting up to drive an hour to this God forsaken hell hole, makes my blood crawl, lips curl, forehead wrinkle, eyes water, hair stand and fist ball up. Why can't I just be content with having a job that pays well and a steady source of income? It will be dumb of me to quit so why can't these f^$#ers just fire me. Please! I suck at this job, and if you know me, I don't suck at anything I do. But I have no desire to be here.
But I find myself in a heated struggle to hold on to what is rightfully mine; something that is innate to my soul; my happiness. I can't continue spending 10-12 hrs of my day unhappy. I could just sit here and shed a tear, but I will not let them have it. They have taken enough out of my body. My time, my energy, my fu&^#ing sanity… Nothing else is available. Not even one single solitary tear.
The more money you make, the harder it is to make ends meet. If that's the case, why am I worried about salary? Hanes t-shirts, chilling with friends, taking the metro, enjoying just being here.... F$&^ the finer things, give me happiness!
I know you have heard this same cry from me for a while. But please believe a plan is in action. But my patience is so thin and my outlook is so jaded. Going from a bad situation to a worse predicament is my fear. But not a fear that is going to overwhelm my discontent. Save me from this SHIT, ANYONE!! Because I don't think I can take much more and I am…. Hold up… these mutha f%^$ers are about to go play golf as I prepare for our meeting… Bulls@*t… I QUIT!

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