Thursday, November 4, 2010

Pack Light!

I need you right now! A lot of people need you right now. But you are not here. You still haven’t left the station.. Dragging along with 8 oversize bags for a weekend trip. Missing flight after flight to a place that you “claim” you wanted to be above all else. Now we are all at the airport waiting... Some still wait, some have just given up and gone home, some check back periodically. But people keep coming here waiting for you to arrive eventually. It’s a revolving door. The crowds change, but the results are the same. One by one everyone goes home disappointed because you have yet to arrive where you are suppose to be. You have packed everything to look good for us, presents for us and our kids, albums full of pictures of what you’ve done and things you have. You want to bring so much for us, but all we really want is the one thing that you are not giving us, you! Authentic and unadulterated. So your place remains vacant and others have to suffer because you couldn’t pack light.

In life we get so attached to stuff, image, perceptions, titles and status that it immobilizes us. When we are called upon to serve in an area that we are needed, we are too stuck in a place of obligation. Your car payment keeps you from taking a trip to the place that you always wanted to go. working to pay for your new winter wardrobe has stopped you from doing the volunteer work that you enjoyed. The need to be in the hottest spots has held you back from doing simple things that you always loved. Our attachment to status keeps up from associating with some exception but eccentric people. And our fear of people seeing who we are instead of who we say we are restrains us from being able to relax. We sacrifice peace of mind for piece of the pie while we are screaming out that we like cake! It’s insanity at its best. We want out of the cycle, but dive deeper in. Pack light! Get to the position in life that calls for nothing more than for you just to be you. Show up authentically and stop being held back by all this “stuff”.

When you have seen what you need to see, done what you need to do and just want to sit back, then collect as much as you want. Cement yourself there in contentment with whatever you desire. But DO NOT keep saying you want to fly while you keep acquiring more of everything that keeps you grounded.. Pack light, for the sake of yourself and all of us waiting for you to arrive...

My box!

At Birth, Society's gift was four even lines.

Strong, straight, definite lines..

My parents knew how they wanted me to act, speak and grow. They viewed me as the resulting fruit of careful growing, neglecting the fact that nothing in nature can be controlled. They made sure to pass along the apparent results of there constant devotion to my development. I erected a Line in their honor.

You know me from childhood. You make sure to hold me to the same predictability as my younger self. You love the one you knew and want me to stay the same. I erected another line in your honor.

The TV says this, the video says that, the preacher tells me this and that is how I should be. My desires are wrong, my passion is misplaced, and my motivation is ungratefulness. Thank you for teaching me how to be me. I lay a line across the other two I have already erected in your honor.

I see the man I want to be. I know the perception I want to give. I want to work on changing myself to be the ideal man I have in my mind. So I decide to stand on those grounds and lay my last line under my feet, connecting the bottom of my first two lines and enclosing me in a box of direction for my life

Ironically, Now that I have four different directions, I can’t go anywhere. I am trapped in the box, only to pace back and forth until I get held back by someone else’s expectations of me.

Unhappy, I rebel and change my situation. I run full speed into the side of the box, tipping it on to a corner. Content with my individuality, I am not realizing that my movements are now even more restricted in this diamond. All I can do is sit in the bottom corner as all the other space in the box goes wasted. But my new position has me yelling at the top of my lungs “I am different”. The self reflective line has literally tilted up to trap me in an even more narrow scope. Now I am stuck and everyone else’s expectations are unstable and slanted.

Finally I disassemble it. Aligning all the expectation, and believing I can be everything to everyone. So I break apart corner and flatten out the box. Now I am free to run back and forth with no limitations. But how do I transcend. How do I elevate to a higher level or dig deep to find parts of me that I have lost. The long line has now set a definite limit. Making it impossible to be everything to everyone and still evolve as a person

So now I am here with my eraser. I don't mean to be unappreciative of the care of my parents, the guidance of society or the support of my friends, but they are keeping me from being free. I have a pencil with a big eraser, and I am starting with the line of self restriction that I gave to myself. And erasing all the others are a necessity that is soon coming...

Then what will I stand on?

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