It took me a little while to get the motivation to get out of bed and go for a run this morning. Not sure why tho. I know I wanted to run. I like how my day goes after I do. I like how I look when I do it regularly. I had enough sleep. I had enough time. Not sure what was holding me back.
As soon as I actually started running the reasons for my mental block began to become clear. I found myself starting to wonder “Am I going to be able to complete my usual path since I haven’t ran in a while?”. I wanted to try an additional detour and starting worrying “if I take this way, I probably will not be able to do my regular path also. Should I just stop after the detour and build myself up to doing the whole thing over the next week?” Then came concerns if I would find my way thru this unknown area. Coupled with thoughts of my running pace and if I should slow down so that I don’t have to walk at any point. I was already mentally exhausted less then 2 blocks in.
But then it hit me… I’m running as a choice not as an obligation. There is nothing or no one forcing me to do this. I got myself out of my bed and dressed for the purpose of taking on this task. So now the looming question is “WHY!?”. What is the reasoning behind making this choice?
I choose to run because it gives me more energy during the day
It also quickly shifts me into a productive gear
Running allows me to be 31 and look like 21
It allow me to simultaneously sort thru my thoughts, create new ones (like this post) and clear my head
And…. I want nice legs. (Which is why I chose to take the detour that had more hills and steps)
So why would I stress about it? I choose to run thru parks and along the river when it’s unpopulated for mental clarity. I choose to run in the morning to take the energy into the rest of my day. All these choices are for a direct purpose but I still managed to be weighed down with worry. Then I thought, so what if I don’t finish and cut the route short? So what if I walk? So what if I have to turn around because I hit a dead end? None of these things has any bearing on my reasons for this endeavor. Worrying about things that may never come was simply a waste of energy that I could be using to get a better run or finding enough clarity to solve some of the worlds most pressing problems.
Half way thru I realized how this same pointless worrying had manifested in my daily life. Everything in my life is a result of a choice that I made. The point where I start getting frustrated with my circumstances is when I have made choices without a reason that resonates with who I really am or I have forgotten why I made my choices in the first place. On occasion I have let popular culture decide for me instead of searching for my true desires in a decisions. I have made choices in my career in the pursuit of financial freedom then somehow got lost in the acquiring of stuff, bringing me further away from my goal. Then the 9-5 that was meant to serve as an opportunity became a burden. I hated going to work everyday because I forgot the purpose for my choice.
As I neared the end of my run, I realize that this is true for all areas of my life. If I make choices based on my deepest desires, it keeps them from feeling like a chore. I instantly starting reminding myself of the reasons that I made certain choices in my life. Now it is up to me to analyze if those reasons are still applicable today. The beauty is that I can always choose differently if something isn’t serving my higher purpose.
Needless to say, my run ended with a smile on my face. I even sprinted uphill the last leg of the route. I found myself excited about the tasks that I had waiting for me when my run was over simply because I remembered what the end goals were. So I take this simple truth into the remainder of my day; “Life is a series of Choices not a series of chores”.