If I did half the things that I said I would, I would already be the man I want to be. Focus and discipline and balance have haunted my dreams of progress. Although most people around me think it's just the opposite. But am I being too hard on myself or am I just being real with my short comings. I commit more time to things that are antithetical to me being a respectful man that I do to the things that make me successful.
Sometimes I feel like I just talk a good game to convince myself that I am doing all that I need to be doing. But I honesty don’t fee like I am. Hard work is just that; Hard Work! And when the only one pushing you is yourself, it makes it hard to subject yourself to grind stone that squeezes out every last bit of sweat, blood and tears. I understand the necessity and I understand the consequences. I understand the scarifies and I understand the rewards. But internal issues based in lack of confidence and needing to be validated and wanted have served as the ultimate wrench of my mechanism.
If I could only do half the things I say I will; I will be twice the man I am today. I have this knowledge of my own faults just to serve as an additional punishment for my disobedience. Ignorance is bliss, and knowledge is a burden before it can be a liberator. If only for the purpose of being a burden so heavy that eventually, my desire to be rid of it will be greater than my desire to repeat the same self defeating course of action.
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