The #42daychallenge

Many of us set goals at the beginning of the year. But too often we fall short of achieving them, only to set the same goals year after year. So the 42 day challenge was set up to end that cycle. It's where you dedicate the last 42 days of the year to really push to cross things off your list. It is easier to focus on staying disciplined for a short period of time (as we learned the first few weeks of January while we were still on task) than over a 365 day period. So beginning November 19th til 11:59pm December 31st, it's a serious grind. The grind will be easier if we have a community pushing each other to succeed. Why November 19th? Because it's my birthday of course! Hey, I made up the challenge, I make up the rules! It's a chance to start the new year feeling accomplished. 

Join the challenge on FB, on twitter (#42daychallenge) and on this blog (subscribe). Let's make moves!

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

The Scenic Route

Here is a little known fact about me. Every couple of days my brain gets so filled and overwhelmed that I need an escape. I usually go to the woods, hiking, sit by a body of water or anywhere in nature to just clear my head and sort out my thoughts. Last week, on my way to one of my frequent spots in Virginia a cab driver (the worst drivers in the world) cuts me off and makes me miss my exit. 

Instead of fighting it, I decide to let myself get lost. I just drove until my gut told me I should turn and let my instincts guide me. Since it was close to sunset, I just decided to follow the sun. Trying to hold on to daylight as long as possible. Finally, I reached to the top of a hill at a dead end. 

I take fences and no trespassing signs as just a suggestion, not a rule!

I decided to get out and walk. It's amazing where you end up and the sights you see when you follow your instincts... Enjoy!

The George Washington Masonic Memorial- View from the back way

Sun setting over Alexandria Virginia

    

                                  

Dusk over the memorial while jets fly by

My favorite scene of the day

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

Prove Them Wrong

It’s the preconceived notion that “It is so much easier to live wrong than it is to live right”. and that untested theory keeps so many from even trying. The bad examples are abundant and the good examples are quiet. So the deck remains apparently stacked against us. Fidelity, loyalty, honesty, and personal change is pedaled as a myth. An unattainable goal. Everyone cheats. Everyone lies. You will never change! These are all lies perpetuated by the weak minded to justify their failures. It’s in our music, it’s in our barbershop talk, it’s on the tongue of our elders, but don’t believe the hype.

Many may not know, thanks to my young innocent face(just go with me on this one), but “my previous lifestyles were quite wild”-Drizzy. But I make no apologies for it. I was young, dumb and full of.... (well you get the point). I enjoyed that period of my life and I learned a whole lot about myself thru those experiences. But there will be people who know you through different periods of your life and try to keep you there. They can not accept that you are able to transcend especially if they want to, but find themselves stuck. I see it in their faces when they ask me “so how are things going?”. I feel the sarcasm in their hearts when they ask “so you a changed man now?”. I almost always respond with a slight smile. But inside I am being motivated to prove myself thru action.

People can not conceive of you having the strength to be the person that you are. They look at their own disability to live a certain life and try to attribute their weaknesses to you. Don’t argue with such people. live the life that you set out to. live it right. And you will leave them with nothing but the reality of their weakness. Seeing you achieve what was believed to be impossible, will eliminate all their excuses and silence all of their gossip.

There are many people who want to see you fail to justify them not trying. You have to be the light in that room full of darkness.

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

EXCEPTIONAL

Exceptional

Many of us spend hours imagining the type of life we will have in the future. We see cars drive by and claim them as ours. We see Houses on TV and talk about what we will do differently when we have our mansion. We talk about all the countries we want to visit and how we are going to be pampered when we get there. We talk about how amazing our marriage and kids will be and how much of a big deal we will be.

Reality Check: For many of us, a dream is all it’s going to be. And I believe that deep down inside we know it’s not going to be a reality. We learned as kids that it is fun to pretend. Even if it doesn’t come into fruition, at least we lived the experience in our minds.

But what about those people who just dreaming of it is simply not enough? What makes this kind of ambition a pipe dream for some but an attainable goal for others? It’s not superior genius, it’s not an advantaged birthright, it’s not an incredible talent. It’s just a resolute attitude of what they truly desire. Unlike many others, these exceptional individuals actually go for what they want with an expectation to get it.

Too many times people will look at the success of a person and dismiss it as luck or being in the right place at the right time. The dangerous effect of doing that, is that you miss the lesson of what can make you successful. You are dismissing the formula that you can apply to achieving your goals. Since you can’t force luck or coincidence, you stay doing the same things day in and day out, dreaming of your lucky break. It doesn’t work that way! When someone “makes it”, take a deeper look into their life and see what really brings lasting success.

The craziest thing to me is that people expect to have an exceptional life but live a completely ordinary existence daily. We invent things like luck and coincidence to justify living within the margins and expecting to somehow fall into the life we desire. Next time you hear people talking about what they plan to have, how they plan to live, how amazing their future is going to be... Ask them, “HOW?”! Ask them their plan to get to that next level. And I bet you see how many crazy people are out there; Expecting to get to a destination without walking in that direction.

The name of my blog is “I Choose Real Life” because I just want to tell you the truth. The media has a way of making things look easy. As if unparalleled success is just around the corner. Unless that corner is at the end of a road of tireless work and commitment, there will be nothing but more of the same things that’s in your life now around that corner.

If you want to know if you are leading a life that is going to lead to an exceptional future, just look at most of the people around you. If the way you live your life, resembles the way most of them live theirs, you are NOT on the path. If your thinking is in line with what the media pushes to the masses, you are NOT on the path. If your daily activities have no actions that are above and beyond what is required of you, you are NOT on the path. Just look at the definition of the word.

EXCEPTIONAL-[ik-sep-shuh-nl]

–adjective

1.

forming an exception or rare instance; unusual; extraordinary

2.

unusually excellent; superior

By definition alone, Your life, actions and thinking can not be like most people’s. You can not just fall in line and follow the status quo. one of my favorite quotes puts it simply-“Live Like No One Else [will] So You Can Live Like No One Else [can]”- Dave Ramsey

DO you really think the current industry moguls only put in 8-9 hors of work a day, do you think people that grew from having nothing to independently wealthy was focus on buying the latest things. DO you really believe that the most talented among us didn't practice their craft hundreds of times more than the rest of us?

So next time you start talking about how exceptional your life is going to be in the future, either know how you are going to make it happen, or give the disclaimer that it’s just an empty dream that will never come true because you are not willing to work for it. You have to live an exceptional existence daily, to have an exceptional life. There are no shortcuts, just illusions.

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like" me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sanchez-The-Renaissance/62772324932 

I will never clean my home again! (for the sake of all makind)

So I’ve thought this thru (for like a whole 15 minutes) and I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t make sense for me to clean my home ever again. I’m sure some people may say that hiring a housekeeper to maintain a 700 sqft condo is lazy and ridiculous but hear me out for a second. Give me an objective read on this thought and save your opinions til the end.

Yesterday I met with my financial advisor and it made start looking at things from a more economical point of view. And with very aggressive financial goals for the next month, year and 5 years, I need to rethink my spending and earnings. So as I spend my Sunday cleaning up my war zone of a home, I had this ingenious thought (well it may not be that bright, but I am biased).

I am an entrepreneur. I set my own hours, I work a lot and many times charge my clients on an hourly rate. So very literally, time is money. So I said to myself, “Self”... (sitting in the thinking man pose as if I am finding the solution to world peace) “ Is the hassle of cleaning this wretched mess really worth my time?” So I laid out the facts; I am messy, I am not very good at cleaning, and I don't have much time to do it so I don't do it as often as I should.

So I figure if I make (undisclosed) dollars/ hour and I can pay some one around $10/hours (significantly less than my hourly rate), and I make certain I am doing work will my home is being cleaned..... You see where I am going with this... I am actually getting paid while my house is being cleaned! It will help me be productive because I know I have to work while my place is being cleaned in order to make this rationale work.

Now it’s time to blow you mind with the compound benefits of this idea. A housekeeper will probably clean better (well they damn well better since they are professionals and I suck at it) and faster. So in addition to making money while they clean, I am also gaining time. And that time can be used for down time which I usually have very little of. My girlfriend would really appreciate me taking her out more often and spending quality time. Her happy, means I’m happy! My house keeper will make more money that will make her/his (I am not sexist) family happy. It will allow him/her (still not sexist) and I to put more money into the national economy (taking my girlfriend out on dates, housekeeper buying extra shots at the bar). This will make the U.S. happy and in turn my President happy. So as you see, it is kind of my patriotic duty to never clean my home again! And with the U.S. being the superpower that it is, It’s happiness will filter down thru other countries. And in a way.... (wait for it) I may have just found the solution to world peace. I’d like to see someone dispute that! *drops mic and walks off with the George Jefferson strut*

Friendships 102-Letting go

There are different philosophies that I adopt and I am not always sure why. It always start with a line... A phrase that just sticks with me. I can’t always explain its meaning at first or its inception, but some part of it just resonated as “right” with me. So I hold on to it until it has a chance to develop and play out in my life.

My longest standing philosophy when dealing with people has been “See people for who they are. Then either chose to accept them in their entirety or let them go, but don’t expect them to change.” I never understand why people get mad at others for being themselves. So what your closest friend gossiped and lied about you to other people. When you met her, she was a gossip. It’s not a personal insult to you, it’s a character trait of hers that you [should have] accepted when you decided to make her your friend. Gossips, will gossip. It’s asinine to get angry with them for doing their job. If you can not handle your friends talking about you behind their back, then don’t make those types of people your friends. Sounds simple enough, but people do it all the time, in friendships, business partnerships and the worst of all, marriage!

This morning I was having a conversation with a friend and I revealed one of my newest unfounded philosophies. “SOME people are in your life for a season. Instead of worrying about holding on to them forever, spend the time they are in your life to enjoy them thoroughly”. Learn from them, grow with them, explore new things, new ideologies, sharpen each other. Although the initial thought of strong but temporary bonds of friendship sounds unnatural and wrong... there was something right about it that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

After a highly unproductive day, I fell asleep at 6:00 pm. So now, at 1:30am I find myself awake, reading. And in my read, I finally understood the basis of my “people are in your life for a season” way of thinking. And I was able to tie it into “accept people in their entirety” philosphy in a very eye opening revelation.

A “friend” of mine has been exaggerating facts and volunteering false information about me to others. But when I found out, I was not upset. I was not surprised. I took on the position of “oh, that’s him, that’s just how he is”. I have accepted that side of him and was completely unfazed by it. I know he has a good heart, but like all humans, he has his flaws.

But then I battled with the options bringing it to his attention as a friend, explaining why that reflects bad on his character so he might consider addressing that trait, and just letting it go since there was no harm done and I felt strongly that he will never admit fault. Based on the years I have known him, I was convinced that even if he might hear me, he will get defensive, lie more and make excuses.

But tonight it hit me... So what if he has a good heart? Only fools can’t/won’t accept correction or constructive criticism. When did it become my goal to align my associations with foolish people? [fool is an biblical throwback word that hits pretty hard, so I apologize, but it’s a very accurate term so I retract my apology] And what does it say about my respect for this person’s integrity if I am not even surprised when they lie about me? Why do I have someone in my life that I can’t even expect to value my reputation, be truthful or listen to reproof? The fact that I am not angry is a reason. the fact that I an not surprised is a reason. The fact that I think a conversation about the issue would be pointless is a reason. All reasons to believe that this person’s season in my life is over. I have shared and gained everything I can get out of this friendship and the last leaf has fell from the tree. the seeds of knowledge I have gotten from this experience have already started forming new, stronger bonds. I can’t hold on to a dying stump.

The beautiful thing is that he will always be a part of me and have a place in my heart. I can move on with no animosity or regret. I am grateful for the benefit they have had in my life and I hope they can feel the same about my role in theirs. And without warning or conversation (rightfully or wrongly), I’m closing the chapter on a friendship, happily.

Patience

"If you can wait, and not be tired by waiting" -"IF" -Rudyard Kipling

This morning at the gym, this guy had on a shirt that said "Everyday is training day". Even tho it is very likely that it was made in reference to working out, it resonated with me for a whole different reason. Over the last few days, it has been reiterated that goals, progress, success, relationships and anything worth having in life is not a sprint, but more of a marathon. Life is a series of marathons, and everyday, every experience, every hardship and even previous marathons are part of your training. You are constantly preparing yourself to reach the finish line every time! Without this constant relentless training, you will continue to give up before you complete the course. And as of yesterday, that was precisely what I was about to do. Give up!

I was 5 minutes from doing whatever it took to finish the projects that I have already started, then packing my bags and rolling out. Just completely vacate my current life and make a new path in a foreign country (obviously I watched "Eat.Pray. Love" one to many times that day). A mix of fear, frustration and hardships had played a wicked trick on my mind to think that the only way out was to start over instead of pushing thru. It took extensive soul searching, meditation, prayer, conversations and even watching movies (Eat.Pray.Love) to get me to a revelation. But the real break thru came when I was cleaning my house.

I was sitting in my bathroom the previous night soaking my feet. Candles lit, meditation music playing, lights off. I was trying whatever it took to get clarity on my situation. Afterward, I looked up at my tub and thought "this is filthy" and instantly added more stress on my mind. Then as I walked into my cluttered kitchen and went to bed in my messy room, and the stress was compounded. So the following day, when I didn't have the motivation to work, I didn't want to speak to anyone, and I know couldn't be idle; I cleaned. Cleaned my kitchen, washed dishes, cleaned the tub. And in the midst of scrubbing down the walls, it hit me. I knew that messiness and filth in my house adds to my stress, so I had to clean. Because this is my house, no one else is going to take care of it for me. If I want it to be clean, I have to clean it. If I want it to be more comfortable and welcoming, I have to make it that way. I am the steward of this place and I have been slacking on my job. And the same is true for my life. If I want my life to be better, I have to make it that way. I have to be a better steward of my circumstances and work toward the future I want.

The key to all of this is patience. I was going to leave everything behind because I wanted to do more than just design. I want to travel the world, do art for the love and not for the money. What I failed to realize is that was precisely the path that I was on. I am overcoming hurdles from my past to create the very same life that I desire. I have to fight my way back to zero before I can start building again. I am working more now, so that I can have the life I envision in the future. I am not going to be here forever. I am just in the early stages of this marathon and there are no short cuts. If I stay on the path and I keep running, I have to reach the finish line. But I have to keep running! I can't quit. It's all about patience and perseverance.

P.S.- I am unpacking my bags. I am staying!

Financial Reconstruction- Part 2 of 3 (The inception)

I bet most people don’t know that fortunately for me, I was born a millionaire... Well, at least in mind. For as long as I remember, I liked having money. I like playing with it, planning with it and most importantly saving it. Some people collect coins, well I collected COIN!

Growing up my family didn’t have much. But it wasn’t because we were poor, we just didn’t require much. My mother was an expert at preserving and recycling clothes, my father’s hobby was repairing old cars and neither my sibling or I had any use for toys. We were athletes, give us a ball and space and we are happy.

The one toy I did have an held dearly was the annual hess toy trucks that my parents got from work. This was my favorite toy because that’s where I hid all of my money! I am talking “fat Knots” (mostly ones and fives) stashed in the cargo container and the big bills (I’ve seen a hundred from time to time) chillin in the firetruck. I am still not sure how I did it, but I had hundreds at age 8. I had no job, nor did we get allowance... And NO, I wasn’t a thief. I would request to keep change from making runs to the store. I would asked to rummage the house for loose change. I would wrap coins and store them in tin cookie containers for months then change it from the money that jingles to the kind that folds. My favorite memories were of me being able to lend money to my mother and always being asked to make change for big bills before I was even 12.
Fast forward to college, finally on my own and ridiculously broke. I worked my entire senior year and that was just enough to get me to school and provide me with the basics. My overly proud nature and lifelong need to assert my independence, made it impossible for me to ask my parents for money. They would still send some every once in a while even tho I would always respond “I’m fine, you don’t have to”. Thru the thrift store clothes, discount day meals, 2nd day pizza that other people were about to throw away, flirting for more meal card privileges, selling T shirts, drawing tattoos, throwing dorm parties, buying alcohol for people (even tho I was underage myself), I was able to survive and still able to keep my love for handling money. I got my first credit card and did extensive research on how to use credit. I attended any money management seminar that I heard about, I read multiple wealth books, opened a checking and savings account and even invested in a few stocks. Regardless of my situation at the time, my focus was on being wealthy. Almost weekly I would write out a plan of what I would how I would handle my upcoming post graduate paycheck. I created intricate spread sheets that would let me know how much I would have in savings every year, when I would become a millionaire, when I would retire, how and when I can pay for an engagement ring. I had it all figured out.
I decided as a sophomore than when I graduate I will not rent because it was a waste of money so I would purchase a home instead. I learned how to improve my credit by continuously asking for a limit increase and keeping my balance low. I started with a$1500 limit as a freshman and graduated with a $10,000 limit. At one of the financial seminars I attended my Junior year, I met a brother that recently opened a wealth management company. After the seminar I introduced myself and let him know that we will be working together in the future. Imagine his surprise when he received my “let’s get started” email soon after graduation.

I moved to DC and in my typical stubborn nature, I slept on the floor of my then girlfriend’s grandmothers 2nd bedroom and refused to get a lease as I looked for a house. With only a promise of a job, no money, but good credit I finally found a place. I went back home (because I couldn’t afford to stay in DC) until it was time to close.

I closed on my condo three days before I started my new job in good ole corporate America (feel the sarcasm). I had a home, an old car that was paid off and a good steady steam of income. Who would have thought that this would be the beginning of my demise?

In college everyone was broke along with me, It was expected. In DC it seemed as everyone was established, refined; Ballin! Everyone drove nice cars, wore nice clothes, went to nice restaurants and lived a glamorous nightlife. I still saved, I drove my old car, furnished my condo only as I could afford it (over an 8 month period), I kept a tough skin thru all the mockery of my clothes and got into most places for free. I thought I was different.


And then, I finally became and Alpha... in DC... And if you don’t know, there is a culture of arrogance and affluence (image) that is strong within the capitol city Alphas. My crowd was changing and I was changing right along with it. I was performing well in my career and within one year I had already received two promotions.



My car finally broke down, and without even carrying it to the shop, I was on the hunt to buy a new ride (I couldnt wait to have an excuse to upgrade). I set out to be responsible; to purchase a used, reliable, good gas milage car for less than $15,000. I went car shopping with one of my “affluent” friends when I saw the car I have fantasized about... Forget the fact that it was horrible on gas milage and $10,00 ABOVE what I wanted to spend... at least it was used and oh so SEXY! Most of all... for the first time in my frugal life, I could “afford” (defined by the culture of credit that we live in) it! I was persuaded that “you only live once”, “you can’t take the money with you when you die” and “you deserve it” and I made the purchase. Now I am 21 year old home owner with a nice ride and good job... Not only did it place me in a new status bracket among my peers but more importantly, it set me up with a lifestyle to uphold.
I would eat out and drink and would be justified because I did it less than most of my peers. I slowly upgraded my wardrobe, but justified it because I spend less on clothes that my other peers. I did a lot of things in moderation when compared to my peers, but in excess when compared to my actual means. I fell for the image most people presented and never looked deeper. If only these “refined” people I was around would have let me know that they were broke, I could have prepared myself.
Pretty rapidly I started to despise working in corporate america (check out my previous “throwback” blogs). I quickly saw my financial plan unravelling. For the first time I was living based on money that I was planning to make not on money that I had. When it began to get to be too much, I started working a 2nd job at a night club to save up money to leave my career. But I still couldn’t do it. I had a good salary and the bills to prove it. More months passed and I could not keep sacrificing my happiness for my fear of not making ends meet. And one fine day... it was over! I had reached my limit and I was unemployed... What was to follow, I have never imagined would be a part of my story. I reached new depths and was placed in situations I never thought I would be in.... But that is for the next chapter “My Decline, My Change”....

Financial Reconstruction-Part 1 of 3 (The Motivation)

In my opinion the misuse of finances is one of the greatest tragic novels written by young black America. Sadly, this is a behavior that is pass down from previous generations, learned from peers, and perpetuated by the media. It's like there is an entire army that is after your wallet. And it seems we have decided to just surrender instead of fight back.

I think our relationship with money is absolutely ludicrous. I say "our" because even tho I know the idiocy of living beyond my means, I have found myself falling victim to influence from time to time. This is a three part series because I believe it is THAT serious. And its about time we really talk about it.

It is no secret that we live in a time of instant gratification; The microwave generation. We rather spend our time looking like we are affluent rather than actually becoming affluent. Are we really not aware that the more time we spend portraying a certain lifestyle, the less of a chance that we will actually get to live it?

You always here the argument, "I am going to enjoy life because life is short" or "you can't take it with you" as a reason to throw money away. But who the hell are these people convincing you that blowing money is "living"? That spending every dime is more fun that saving it? When did it become a rule that buying an expensive suit, couch surfing, buying bottles that are marked up 300% because it comes with little sparklers was more fun than having a bunch of friends at the house with drinks and food, just wilding out and laughing? When did simple stuff become equivalent to "not living"?

In what twilight zone do we look to uneducated, frivolous, millionaire ex drug dealers (who are still pushing the idea of selling drugs as a viable income producer), that will be broke in a few years for our financial advice (Damn dude, how do you really feel!?). We buy the cars they say to buy, we pay for the liquor they deem to be the best, we aspire to the wear the clothes on their back. We wanna make it rain trick! This is insanity at it's best! When do we find the strength to stand up and think independently? (tell em why you mad son!)

So I decided to make that commitment to be that counter example. I loathe the thought of putting my finances out there but damnit somebody's got to keep it real in this city of posers. You will be surprised how many of your highly paid corporate friends driving luxury vehicles that stay fresh are actually broke! And you will be surprised how many of your unassuming friends driving old cars are actually balling. But what they both have in common is that they keep quite about there real financial situation (for obviously different reasons). So hear goes nothing... Today we change the game.

For 2011 a friend and I entered into a financial reconstruction challenge with each other. We both want to live lives like most people can't so we understand that means living life like most people wont. I refuse to live life paycheck to paycheck. I refuse to have to fake my wealth at the price of not being able to actually attain it. And I refuse to be stressed about money my entire life. Unless we change our relationship with money, we are not only going to pass down bad habits to our children but also mountains of debt. So I am going to layout my financial history, my current financial standing (it's not pretty so be prepared) and also my financial goals in this 3 part blog. And thru the year, I am going to post progress, fall backs (hopefully there are none), tough times and great triumphs. I am going to succeed at this money game, I just want others to win too. There is so much economic power that we are wasting. Lets get it back!

This is an interactive process and we need more people to speak on the subject. Please post comments and insight on the topic. Thanks!

Come in!

For a long time I felt as tho no one really understood what I was going thru at this point in my life. And as I began to publicly talk about my experience, I came to realize that my struggles in this quarter-life crisis ins't reserved to just me. It is a silent depressor of many. The insecurities caused by this transitional stage in life is the weapon it uses to keep everyone quiet. alone. scared. We all want to look like we have it figured out, like we are on top of the game, and secure in our life's choices... But we aren't! We are new adults still trying to figure everything out; Put in the awkward position of guiding the generation behind us while being asked to step away from the generation that raised us. We are the 20 somethings (and some early 30 somethings) that took a quarter of a century just to get to the point of learning ourselves all over again.

With the all the people stressing in solitude, we feel even more disconnected; Convinced that our uncertainty is an unlucky anomaly. But I choose real life (hence the name of the blog), so I am on a mission to put my journey out there so that if we have to struggle, we can do it together. That the Journey because easier (or at least more fun) with traveling partners. I was very reluctant to be so open (and my PR representative explicitly said not to be... ooops), but I feel like I have to. I am very far from having everything together but I am determined to get there. Join me as a navigate thru this maze of relationships, finances, career, friendships, reputations, family and personal growth. The fantasy is good for the image but the reality is better for the soul. Choose real life!