Financial Reconstruction- Part 3 of 3

“Continued”- Make sure you read part 1 and part 2...

So there I was... Single and unemployed in DC. The irony of it all is that I moved to DC because I had a job offer in DC and my girlfriend lived up here. Now What!? I didn’t know it at the time, but I was about to enter a advanced accelerated course in “learning yourself”. 

After I left my job, I was now making part-time club wages while I had full-time corporate bills. You don’t realize how much you are actually paying out until you don’t have much money coming in.  I quickly realized that this situation was not going to work. But luckily, I’m West Indian. We are born hustlers and we know how to make things work. 

As a punishment for my bad financial behavior, I got rid of my precious car. I was upside down on the loan, but I traded to a more responsible Civic Hybrid. This was so much more my style. What can I say, I’m  a tree hugger! Even tho my gas and maintenance bills we reduced, I was still paying the same car note (seeing the bill then looking at my lil Honda made for some very angry moments). I was able to rent out my condo for the amount of my mortgage. Even tho my expenses still far outweighed my income, I felt better that I was making some effort.

So with this new good feeling, I explored life. I felt like I was enslaved so long in corporate prison that I just wanted to be free. I was determined to enjoy life to the max. I was very random, and all over the place. I just wanted to live. Whatever felt like living at the time, is what I did. I spent a lot of time in NYC. I remember one time I went up there for a weekend and ended up staying for a month. I met new friends, some who let me crash at their houses for days on end, I rubbed elbows with celebrities, modeled a little bit and spent a lot! I mean, after all I didn’t go up with extra clothes and a boy’s gotta eat! It was a surreal moment. Just living completely abandoned. But I am sure you wondering how I made this happen. Well by this point I extended my line of credit to over $20K and my balance was near $0 before I left my job. So I had a $20k field day! 

My mother always used to tell me that I don’t know when to stop and I should “always leave the party while you are still having fun”.  And to hold true to tradition, I didn’t listen... the party wasn’t fun anymore. I could barely recognize my elf thru the wild moments, reckless behavior and lack of responsibility. So I headed back to DC to try to get my life back in some kind of order. I was now staying at one of the hoodest (I’m sure that’s not a word) apartments, in a guest room of someone I barely knew, sleeping on an air mattress. I left everything in boxes because I refused to face the fact that I lived in these conditions. I was working at the club, I was a waiter, and modeling. As much as I was working, ends still didn’t meet. I covered the slack with my credit card. One month when rent was due, I found a statement from one of the investments I made in college that had a couple grand in it. I took all the money out, paid a few bills, and ate. 

So now, I was working harder than ever, making less than ever and not enjoying life. How the hell did I get here!? After taking serious inventory of my life and goals, I decided to pursue my first love, design. I got a job as a design assistant. I wasn’t making much, but at least I was learning to do something I loved. 

THIRTY SEVEN CENTS!

The credit card company called- I’m over my limit. The investment funds mailed- The balances are all at zero. The bank statements come in- there is a total balance of $0.37 left in my name. Nothing else! By this time I had given notice to vacate. Fortunately, one of my friends let me stay with them as I swallowed my pride and accepted help.  

That was it... that was the breaking point. I have had my fun, now it was time to work. I was a waiter, a model, and a design assistant.  I didn’t go out anywhere, didn’t buy anything. Shoot, I didn’t have time or money to.  Something had to change. I went and filed for a sole proprietorship to form my own design company, Renaissance Design. But with all my other jobs, I was working over 14 hours a day and not able to dedicate the time I needed to y business. So as another leap of faith, I left all of my part time jobs to focus on Renaissance Design. Now I had no choice, this thing had to work! And now what you see today, is a result of frustration, recklessness, stupidity, generosity, hard work and faith (In that order!). And it’s still growing... Stay tuned

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/cruzanalex 

The #42daychallenge

Many of us set goals at the beginning of the year. But too often we fall short of achieving them, only to set the same goals year after year. So the 42 day challenge was set up to end that cycle. It's where you dedicate the last 42 days of the year to really push to cross things off your list. It is easier to focus on staying disciplined for a short period of time (as we learned the first few weeks of January while we were still on task) than over a 365 day period. So beginning November 19th til 11:59pm December 31st, it's a serious grind. The grind will be easier if we have a community pushing each other to succeed. Why November 19th? Because it's my birthday of course! Hey, I made up the challenge, I make up the rules! It's a chance to start the new year feeling accomplished. 

Join the challenge on FB, on twitter (#42daychallenge) and on this blog (subscribe). Let's make moves!

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

The Scenic Route

Here is a little known fact about me. Every couple of days my brain gets so filled and overwhelmed that I need an escape. I usually go to the woods, hiking, sit by a body of water or anywhere in nature to just clear my head and sort out my thoughts. Last week, on my way to one of my frequent spots in Virginia a cab driver (the worst drivers in the world) cuts me off and makes me miss my exit. 

Instead of fighting it, I decide to let myself get lost. I just drove until my gut told me I should turn and let my instincts guide me. Since it was close to sunset, I just decided to follow the sun. Trying to hold on to daylight as long as possible. Finally, I reached to the top of a hill at a dead end. 

I take fences and no trespassing signs as just a suggestion, not a rule!

I decided to get out and walk. It's amazing where you end up and the sights you see when you follow your instincts... Enjoy!

The George Washington Masonic Memorial- View from the back way

Sun setting over Alexandria Virginia

    

                                  

Dusk over the memorial while jets fly by

My favorite scene of the day

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

My Image Rollercoaster

My very good friend, Nicholas Hawkins, owner of the image consulting company Young Gentleman Society, has been given he unfortunate task of being my image consultant (No, I am not hollywood, just smart enough to know that my image contributes a large part to my success) for the last year. I have hired and fired him a record of 5 times over the course of one weekend (can we say "high maintenance"). Admittedly, because of my own issues.

I have so many ideas and so many concepts of how my life should be lived that conflict with each other, causing one bad ass roller coaster of personal presentation. It was difficult for me to find a balance of holding on to who I was, becoming who I want to be, and changing the things that weren't aligned with my vision. Even tho the path was turbulent, the goal was always the same; authenticity.

I decided a few years ago that I will never live life unhappy, restricted or too calculated. So as my style started to change from "barefoot island athlete" to "artistic business owner and public figure", I rebelled. Afraid that I was somehow being disingenuous from who I was. So my roller coaster with my image consultant went from "photoshoot fresh, looking like wealth" to "true artists live off the land and make clothes from the sheep I raised". Needless to say that this made it impossible for Nick to work with me.

But in retrospect, the struggle was a necessary one. It came from a good place. I just never want to portray something that I am not. The problem was that it was hard for me to accept that I am not the same person I was growing up. I am not in the same position and I am working on different goals. But I still have the same beliefs and morals, and that's what needs to be held close. I just had to get comfortable with being me and own it!

So now, Nick is back on the team for the 12th time (I'm a handful). He and his staff have the patience of saints. But this time I have learned to accept a few things. I was putting too much emphasis on what was on the exterior. Putting on a suit doesn't change that I am simple island boy. And dressing like a vagrant doesn't negate my education or my potential altitude. I had to fight my fear of becoming materialistic and accept that I am a fan of fashion. I like looking nice. I like expressing myself through my personal presentation. And fighting against that so the I can stay "real" was my biggest form of being unauthentic.

As I write this I am back home in the Virgin Islands. Now, I go to a regular local spot in a linen button up and chinos. Yes, I definitely stand out among the oversized T shirts and du-rags but I am not going to force fit myself into any group. I have ti face that I am not that guy anymore. But what I have found is that a few things happen when you present yourself, as yourself, confidently. People take notice and want to know who you are , you attract people to you on a greater level and you feel less pressure to make moral compromises.

So yes, I flew into the island with a shirt and tie on. Why not? I'm a business man (or as I say "I own some stuff!"). I like the way I am treated when I wear a tie. I like working internationally, so when I give people my business card in airports, wearing my suit rather than my flip flops, they stare, read intently, and carefully put it away to find later. but even more importantly... I just feel good!

When I go out. I like to keep it more simple and less stuffy (still stylish because I like fashion as art). I like to be comfortable because the point of going out is to relax and have fun. So the odds are finding me at a spot that has a "strict dress code" unless it's for business or a special event, is slim. Because although I like fashion, profiling (the young professional DC scene is famous for this) is not my idea of fun.

I remember my former boss, millionaire club owner Marc Barnes, making a statement to this effect, "I don't understand why people buy all these fancy clothes to go out, but look like crap when they come to work. You should look better when you are making money than when you are spending it". (Knowing him, I'm sure there were a few profanities littered throughout the statement but you get the point)

"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson "Our Deepest Fear"

Well now my roller coaster is slowly become a less turbulent ride. But it had to start with self acceptance, courage and confidence. Thanks for reading!

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

Prove Them Wrong

It’s the preconceived notion that “It is so much easier to live wrong than it is to live right”. and that untested theory keeps so many from even trying. The bad examples are abundant and the good examples are quiet. So the deck remains apparently stacked against us. Fidelity, loyalty, honesty, and personal change is pedaled as a myth. An unattainable goal. Everyone cheats. Everyone lies. You will never change! These are all lies perpetuated by the weak minded to justify their failures. It’s in our music, it’s in our barbershop talk, it’s on the tongue of our elders, but don’t believe the hype.

Many may not know, thanks to my young innocent face(just go with me on this one), but “my previous lifestyles were quite wild”-Drizzy. But I make no apologies for it. I was young, dumb and full of.... (well you get the point). I enjoyed that period of my life and I learned a whole lot about myself thru those experiences. But there will be people who know you through different periods of your life and try to keep you there. They can not accept that you are able to transcend especially if they want to, but find themselves stuck. I see it in their faces when they ask me “so how are things going?”. I feel the sarcasm in their hearts when they ask “so you a changed man now?”. I almost always respond with a slight smile. But inside I am being motivated to prove myself thru action.

People can not conceive of you having the strength to be the person that you are. They look at their own disability to live a certain life and try to attribute their weaknesses to you. Don’t argue with such people. live the life that you set out to. live it right. And you will leave them with nothing but the reality of their weakness. Seeing you achieve what was believed to be impossible, will eliminate all their excuses and silence all of their gossip.

There are many people who want to see you fail to justify them not trying. You have to be the light in that room full of darkness.

“Follow” me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like” me on facebook:http://www.facebook.com/DesignerH.AlexSanchez

“Subscribe” to my blog: http://halexsanchez.blogspot.com/

Work-a-holic Rehab

After a few weeks of working 7 days a week, I did the unspeakable...

I took a day off!Iactually didn’t necessarily NEED a day off but I have been told that it’s healthy to do every once in a while

.

So I forced myself to do no work for one day. The original plan was a beach day in Delaware but mother nature nixed that plan with thunderstorms. So instead I decided to enjoy one of my favorite past times.. hiking!

Note to self: Staying up til 5 am playing spades with the boys is probably a bad idea before waking up to go hiking.

(Even more important) note to self: trying

to wake up a friend who was hanging out

the night before and convincing them that going on a vigorous hike early in the morning will be met with extreme resistance

None-the-less... I made it happen. We got a late start to the day, but I decided to stop and pick up a wide angle lens to capture this mini-adventure. And now I get to share it with you.

We went to Great Falls, VA and walked into the visitor’s center. We were greeted by a nice lady who we affectionately called Betty (on the premise that she looked like Betty White). Everyone knows I like a challenge, and clearly so did Betty. As we walked in she said “You two look like strong, strapping, athletic, manly Mandingo men that can handle the toughest of all trails easily” (slightly exaggerated, but I’m sure she thought it). Then pointed us to the toughest trail they had... Hell yeah! I‘m excited.

She however forgot to mention that they just changed the trail so a lot of the markers led to barricaded paths. Forget being Mandingo men, we were guinea pigs.. I’m sure she was thinking “if they survive, then we will re-mark the trail”. It started off with some rough terrain, nicely wooded areas, expected bugs and wildlife, and great views (from points off the path that we were not suppose to go).

We were suppose to follow the blue markers... that was a joke.. Most of them led to barracaded paths and rocks that the average person should not have been expected to climb.

The views were worth the potential absolute death falls

But then... as we had to start scaling cliffs, jumping rock piles, shimmying down narrow ravines, and trying to keep our ankles from breaking we just kept saying “We gonna have to have some words with Betty when/if we get back!”.

Before we left, she did ask “Do you beautifully built, striking black men (still exaggerating) have water?”.

But what the treacherous granny meant to ask was “Do you all have a overnight gear, first aid kit, wildlife survival handbook and last will and testament prepared!?”

I chased this lil frog (about the size of my thumb nail) all over the damn woods trying to get a picture of him... finally got it! This butterfly on the otherhand, not only showed off in couture poses but stalked me for the rest of the hike #vaincreatures

Come'on.. I been running 3-5 miles every day for the past two weeks,

did you really think I wouldn't throw in a picture of me with my shirt off and "sweat dripping aaaall over my boooody"!?

So 3 hours later! we finally get back to the main path that leads us out of the park.

We are alive, all limbs still in place and one more trail conquered. It was fun, relaxing and well worth it.

Luckily my phone wasn’t working in that area so it was a true day off and great exercise. Now... Back to work!

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RenaissanceDC 

"Like" me on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sanchez-The-Renaissance/62772324932

I will never clean my home again! (for the sake of all makind)

So I’ve thought this thru (for like a whole 15 minutes) and I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t make sense for me to clean my home ever again. I’m sure some people may say that hiring a housekeeper to maintain a 700 sqft condo is lazy and ridiculous but hear me out for a second. Give me an objective read on this thought and save your opinions til the end.

Yesterday I met with my financial advisor and it made start looking at things from a more economical point of view. And with very aggressive financial goals for the next month, year and 5 years, I need to rethink my spending and earnings. So as I spend my Sunday cleaning up my war zone of a home, I had this ingenious thought (well it may not be that bright, but I am biased).

I am an entrepreneur. I set my own hours, I work a lot and many times charge my clients on an hourly rate. So very literally, time is money. So I said to myself, “Self”... (sitting in the thinking man pose as if I am finding the solution to world peace) “ Is the hassle of cleaning this wretched mess really worth my time?” So I laid out the facts; I am messy, I am not very good at cleaning, and I don't have much time to do it so I don't do it as often as I should.

So I figure if I make (undisclosed) dollars/ hour and I can pay some one around $10/hours (significantly less than my hourly rate), and I make certain I am doing work will my home is being cleaned..... You see where I am going with this... I am actually getting paid while my house is being cleaned! It will help me be productive because I know I have to work while my place is being cleaned in order to make this rationale work.

Now it’s time to blow you mind with the compound benefits of this idea. A housekeeper will probably clean better (well they damn well better since they are professionals and I suck at it) and faster. So in addition to making money while they clean, I am also gaining time. And that time can be used for down time which I usually have very little of. My girlfriend would really appreciate me taking her out more often and spending quality time. Her happy, means I’m happy! My house keeper will make more money that will make her/his (I am not sexist) family happy. It will allow him/her (still not sexist) and I to put more money into the national economy (taking my girlfriend out on dates, housekeeper buying extra shots at the bar). This will make the U.S. happy and in turn my President happy. So as you see, it is kind of my patriotic duty to never clean my home again! And with the U.S. being the superpower that it is, It’s happiness will filter down thru other countries. And in a way.... (wait for it) I may have just found the solution to world peace. I’d like to see someone dispute that! *drops mic and walks off with the George Jefferson strut*

Heaven in a Lawnmower

I lay on my couch

resting my eyes from the staring contest I just lost with my mac book pro (Natasha)

Is that the sound of a lawnmower? On a Friday afternoon in the city?

Probably not... oh it's the road work crews

But Immediately I close my eyes and smile

Reminisce....

Saturday morning

laying in my adolescent bed, facing the window

The day greets me

Sounds of countless dogs barking (which became so familiar that is was as common as the sound of the wind)

The birds are having conversations

My father doing something in the yard (judging by the pace of his movements, he has been at it for a while)

The washing machine going, as my mother hanging clothes on the line

music echoing thru the neighborhood from other houses

and.....

the symphony of lawnmowers.

I keep my eyes closed for a bit to take everything in

Finally opening my eyes to peek thru the aluminum shutters being blinded by what is seemingly the brightest day of anywhere on earth.

The constant warm tradewinds blow thru the curtains and passes over me.

I breathe the deepest breathe that I will take the entire day.

There is one thing on my mind as I stare at the ceiling with an internal smile

No agenda

No schedule

No pressing issue

No stress

Just this Saturday morning

the sounds of island life and the lawnmowers going at full speed

Now, I long for that Saturday morning feeling

Peace, gratefulness and calm optimism for the day ahead.

Heaven must be lifetime of Saturday Mornings set to a symphony of lawnmowers

Patience

"If you can wait, and not be tired by waiting" -"IF" -Rudyard Kipling

This morning at the gym, this guy had on a shirt that said "Everyday is training day". Even tho it is very likely that it was made in reference to working out, it resonated with me for a whole different reason. Over the last few days, it has been reiterated that goals, progress, success, relationships and anything worth having in life is not a sprint, but more of a marathon. Life is a series of marathons, and everyday, every experience, every hardship and even previous marathons are part of your training. You are constantly preparing yourself to reach the finish line every time! Without this constant relentless training, you will continue to give up before you complete the course. And as of yesterday, that was precisely what I was about to do. Give up!

I was 5 minutes from doing whatever it took to finish the projects that I have already started, then packing my bags and rolling out. Just completely vacate my current life and make a new path in a foreign country (obviously I watched "Eat.Pray. Love" one to many times that day). A mix of fear, frustration and hardships had played a wicked trick on my mind to think that the only way out was to start over instead of pushing thru. It took extensive soul searching, meditation, prayer, conversations and even watching movies (Eat.Pray.Love) to get me to a revelation. But the real break thru came when I was cleaning my house.

I was sitting in my bathroom the previous night soaking my feet. Candles lit, meditation music playing, lights off. I was trying whatever it took to get clarity on my situation. Afterward, I looked up at my tub and thought "this is filthy" and instantly added more stress on my mind. Then as I walked into my cluttered kitchen and went to bed in my messy room, and the stress was compounded. So the following day, when I didn't have the motivation to work, I didn't want to speak to anyone, and I know couldn't be idle; I cleaned. Cleaned my kitchen, washed dishes, cleaned the tub. And in the midst of scrubbing down the walls, it hit me. I knew that messiness and filth in my house adds to my stress, so I had to clean. Because this is my house, no one else is going to take care of it for me. If I want it to be clean, I have to clean it. If I want it to be more comfortable and welcoming, I have to make it that way. I am the steward of this place and I have been slacking on my job. And the same is true for my life. If I want my life to be better, I have to make it that way. I have to be a better steward of my circumstances and work toward the future I want.

The key to all of this is patience. I was going to leave everything behind because I wanted to do more than just design. I want to travel the world, do art for the love and not for the money. What I failed to realize is that was precisely the path that I was on. I am overcoming hurdles from my past to create the very same life that I desire. I have to fight my way back to zero before I can start building again. I am working more now, so that I can have the life I envision in the future. I am not going to be here forever. I am just in the early stages of this marathon and there are no short cuts. If I stay on the path and I keep running, I have to reach the finish line. But I have to keep running! I can't quit. It's all about patience and perseverance.

P.S.- I am unpacking my bags. I am staying!

Financial Reconstruction- Part 2 of 3 (The inception)

I bet most people don’t know that fortunately for me, I was born a millionaire... Well, at least in mind. For as long as I remember, I liked having money. I like playing with it, planning with it and most importantly saving it. Some people collect coins, well I collected COIN!

Growing up my family didn’t have much. But it wasn’t because we were poor, we just didn’t require much. My mother was an expert at preserving and recycling clothes, my father’s hobby was repairing old cars and neither my sibling or I had any use for toys. We were athletes, give us a ball and space and we are happy.

The one toy I did have an held dearly was the annual hess toy trucks that my parents got from work. This was my favorite toy because that’s where I hid all of my money! I am talking “fat Knots” (mostly ones and fives) stashed in the cargo container and the big bills (I’ve seen a hundred from time to time) chillin in the firetruck. I am still not sure how I did it, but I had hundreds at age 8. I had no job, nor did we get allowance... And NO, I wasn’t a thief. I would request to keep change from making runs to the store. I would asked to rummage the house for loose change. I would wrap coins and store them in tin cookie containers for months then change it from the money that jingles to the kind that folds. My favorite memories were of me being able to lend money to my mother and always being asked to make change for big bills before I was even 12.
Fast forward to college, finally on my own and ridiculously broke. I worked my entire senior year and that was just enough to get me to school and provide me with the basics. My overly proud nature and lifelong need to assert my independence, made it impossible for me to ask my parents for money. They would still send some every once in a while even tho I would always respond “I’m fine, you don’t have to”. Thru the thrift store clothes, discount day meals, 2nd day pizza that other people were about to throw away, flirting for more meal card privileges, selling T shirts, drawing tattoos, throwing dorm parties, buying alcohol for people (even tho I was underage myself), I was able to survive and still able to keep my love for handling money. I got my first credit card and did extensive research on how to use credit. I attended any money management seminar that I heard about, I read multiple wealth books, opened a checking and savings account and even invested in a few stocks. Regardless of my situation at the time, my focus was on being wealthy. Almost weekly I would write out a plan of what I would how I would handle my upcoming post graduate paycheck. I created intricate spread sheets that would let me know how much I would have in savings every year, when I would become a millionaire, when I would retire, how and when I can pay for an engagement ring. I had it all figured out.
I decided as a sophomore than when I graduate I will not rent because it was a waste of money so I would purchase a home instead. I learned how to improve my credit by continuously asking for a limit increase and keeping my balance low. I started with a$1500 limit as a freshman and graduated with a $10,000 limit. At one of the financial seminars I attended my Junior year, I met a brother that recently opened a wealth management company. After the seminar I introduced myself and let him know that we will be working together in the future. Imagine his surprise when he received my “let’s get started” email soon after graduation.

I moved to DC and in my typical stubborn nature, I slept on the floor of my then girlfriend’s grandmothers 2nd bedroom and refused to get a lease as I looked for a house. With only a promise of a job, no money, but good credit I finally found a place. I went back home (because I couldn’t afford to stay in DC) until it was time to close.

I closed on my condo three days before I started my new job in good ole corporate America (feel the sarcasm). I had a home, an old car that was paid off and a good steady steam of income. Who would have thought that this would be the beginning of my demise?

In college everyone was broke along with me, It was expected. In DC it seemed as everyone was established, refined; Ballin! Everyone drove nice cars, wore nice clothes, went to nice restaurants and lived a glamorous nightlife. I still saved, I drove my old car, furnished my condo only as I could afford it (over an 8 month period), I kept a tough skin thru all the mockery of my clothes and got into most places for free. I thought I was different.


And then, I finally became and Alpha... in DC... And if you don’t know, there is a culture of arrogance and affluence (image) that is strong within the capitol city Alphas. My crowd was changing and I was changing right along with it. I was performing well in my career and within one year I had already received two promotions.



My car finally broke down, and without even carrying it to the shop, I was on the hunt to buy a new ride (I couldnt wait to have an excuse to upgrade). I set out to be responsible; to purchase a used, reliable, good gas milage car for less than $15,000. I went car shopping with one of my “affluent” friends when I saw the car I have fantasized about... Forget the fact that it was horrible on gas milage and $10,00 ABOVE what I wanted to spend... at least it was used and oh so SEXY! Most of all... for the first time in my frugal life, I could “afford” (defined by the culture of credit that we live in) it! I was persuaded that “you only live once”, “you can’t take the money with you when you die” and “you deserve it” and I made the purchase. Now I am 21 year old home owner with a nice ride and good job... Not only did it place me in a new status bracket among my peers but more importantly, it set me up with a lifestyle to uphold.
I would eat out and drink and would be justified because I did it less than most of my peers. I slowly upgraded my wardrobe, but justified it because I spend less on clothes that my other peers. I did a lot of things in moderation when compared to my peers, but in excess when compared to my actual means. I fell for the image most people presented and never looked deeper. If only these “refined” people I was around would have let me know that they were broke, I could have prepared myself.
Pretty rapidly I started to despise working in corporate america (check out my previous “throwback” blogs). I quickly saw my financial plan unravelling. For the first time I was living based on money that I was planning to make not on money that I had. When it began to get to be too much, I started working a 2nd job at a night club to save up money to leave my career. But I still couldn’t do it. I had a good salary and the bills to prove it. More months passed and I could not keep sacrificing my happiness for my fear of not making ends meet. And one fine day... it was over! I had reached my limit and I was unemployed... What was to follow, I have never imagined would be a part of my story. I reached new depths and was placed in situations I never thought I would be in.... But that is for the next chapter “My Decline, My Change”....

Financial Reconstruction-Part 1 of 3 (The Motivation)

In my opinion the misuse of finances is one of the greatest tragic novels written by young black America. Sadly, this is a behavior that is pass down from previous generations, learned from peers, and perpetuated by the media. It's like there is an entire army that is after your wallet. And it seems we have decided to just surrender instead of fight back.

I think our relationship with money is absolutely ludicrous. I say "our" because even tho I know the idiocy of living beyond my means, I have found myself falling victim to influence from time to time. This is a three part series because I believe it is THAT serious. And its about time we really talk about it.

It is no secret that we live in a time of instant gratification; The microwave generation. We rather spend our time looking like we are affluent rather than actually becoming affluent. Are we really not aware that the more time we spend portraying a certain lifestyle, the less of a chance that we will actually get to live it?

You always here the argument, "I am going to enjoy life because life is short" or "you can't take it with you" as a reason to throw money away. But who the hell are these people convincing you that blowing money is "living"? That spending every dime is more fun that saving it? When did it become a rule that buying an expensive suit, couch surfing, buying bottles that are marked up 300% because it comes with little sparklers was more fun than having a bunch of friends at the house with drinks and food, just wilding out and laughing? When did simple stuff become equivalent to "not living"?

In what twilight zone do we look to uneducated, frivolous, millionaire ex drug dealers (who are still pushing the idea of selling drugs as a viable income producer), that will be broke in a few years for our financial advice (Damn dude, how do you really feel!?). We buy the cars they say to buy, we pay for the liquor they deem to be the best, we aspire to the wear the clothes on their back. We wanna make it rain trick! This is insanity at it's best! When do we find the strength to stand up and think independently? (tell em why you mad son!)

So I decided to make that commitment to be that counter example. I loathe the thought of putting my finances out there but damnit somebody's got to keep it real in this city of posers. You will be surprised how many of your highly paid corporate friends driving luxury vehicles that stay fresh are actually broke! And you will be surprised how many of your unassuming friends driving old cars are actually balling. But what they both have in common is that they keep quite about there real financial situation (for obviously different reasons). So hear goes nothing... Today we change the game.

For 2011 a friend and I entered into a financial reconstruction challenge with each other. We both want to live lives like most people can't so we understand that means living life like most people wont. I refuse to live life paycheck to paycheck. I refuse to have to fake my wealth at the price of not being able to actually attain it. And I refuse to be stressed about money my entire life. Unless we change our relationship with money, we are not only going to pass down bad habits to our children but also mountains of debt. So I am going to layout my financial history, my current financial standing (it's not pretty so be prepared) and also my financial goals in this 3 part blog. And thru the year, I am going to post progress, fall backs (hopefully there are none), tough times and great triumphs. I am going to succeed at this money game, I just want others to win too. There is so much economic power that we are wasting. Lets get it back!

This is an interactive process and we need more people to speak on the subject. Please post comments and insight on the topic. Thanks!

Come in!

For a long time I felt as tho no one really understood what I was going thru at this point in my life. And as I began to publicly talk about my experience, I came to realize that my struggles in this quarter-life crisis ins't reserved to just me. It is a silent depressor of many. The insecurities caused by this transitional stage in life is the weapon it uses to keep everyone quiet. alone. scared. We all want to look like we have it figured out, like we are on top of the game, and secure in our life's choices... But we aren't! We are new adults still trying to figure everything out; Put in the awkward position of guiding the generation behind us while being asked to step away from the generation that raised us. We are the 20 somethings (and some early 30 somethings) that took a quarter of a century just to get to the point of learning ourselves all over again.

With the all the people stressing in solitude, we feel even more disconnected; Convinced that our uncertainty is an unlucky anomaly. But I choose real life (hence the name of the blog), so I am on a mission to put my journey out there so that if we have to struggle, we can do it together. That the Journey because easier (or at least more fun) with traveling partners. I was very reluctant to be so open (and my PR representative explicitly said not to be... ooops), but I feel like I have to. I am very far from having everything together but I am determined to get there. Join me as a navigate thru this maze of relationships, finances, career, friendships, reputations, family and personal growth. The fantasy is good for the image but the reality is better for the soul. Choose real life!

Losing it! (throwback)

This was written when I was still in corporate america. I am posting it to remind me of how grateful I should be that I transended from this place and also cuz I am sure some people out there can identify with this. I read it and was like WOW! This was real emotion. This is a stream of consciousness that I typed as I got to work one morning and the frustration was too much for me not to express it in some way. (Edited for adult content)

I am about to f$^*ing scream!

Am I just born to be a rebel, spoiled, impossible to please, lazy or lost? Seriously, what the f@#^ has me in such discontent. Why is it the thought of getting up to drive an hour to this God forsaken hell hole, makes my blood crawl, lips curl, forehead wrinkle, eyes water, hair stand and fist ball up. Why can't I just be content with having a job that pays well and a steady source of income? It will be dumb of me to quit so why can't these f^$#ers just fire me. Please! I suck at this job, and if you know me, I don't suck at anything I do. But I have no desire to be here.

But I find myself in a heated struggle to hold on to what is rightfully mine; something that is innate to my soul; my happiness. I can't continue spending 10-12 hrs of my day unhappy. I could just sit here and shed a tear, but I will not let them have it. They have taken enough out of my body. My time, my energy, my fu&^#ing sanity… Nothing else is available. Not even one single solitary tear.

The more money you make, the harder it is to make ends meet. If that's the case, why am I worried about salary? Hanes t-shirts, chilling with friends, taking the metro, enjoying just being here.... F$&^ the finer things, give me happiness!

I know you have heard this same cry from me for a while. But please believe a plan is in action. But my patience is so thin and my outlook is so jaded. Going from a bad situation to a worse predicament is my fear. But not a fear that is going to overwhelm my discontent. Save me from this SHIT, ANYONE!! Because I don't think I can take much more and I am…. Hold up… these mutha f%^$ers are about to go play golf as I prepare for our meeting… Bulls@*t… I QUIT!