This morning at the gym, this guy had on a shirt that said "Everyday is training day". Even tho it is very likely that it was made in reference to working out, it resonated with me for a whole different reason. Over the last few days, it has been reiterated that goals, progress, success, relationships and anything worth having in life is not a sprint, but more of a marathon. Life is a series of marathons, and everyday, every experience, every hardship and even previous marathons are part of your training. You are constantly preparing yourself to reach the finish line every time! Without this constant relentless training, you will continue to give up before you complete the course. And as of yesterday, that was precisely what I was about to do. Give up!
I was 5 minutes from doing whatever it took to finish the projects that I have already started, then packing my bags and rolling out. Just completely vacate my current life and make a new path in a foreign country (obviously I watched "Eat.Pray. Love" one to many times that day). A mix of fear, frustration and hardships had played a wicked trick on my mind to think that the only way out was to start over instead of pushing thru. It took extensive soul searching, meditation, prayer, conversations and even watching movies (Eat.Pray.Love) to get me to a revelation. But the real break thru came when I was cleaning my house.
I was sitting in my bathroom the previous night soaking my feet. Candles lit, meditation music playing, lights off. I was trying whatever it took to get clarity on my situation. Afterward, I looked up at my tub and thought "this is filthy" and instantly added more stress on my mind. Then as I walked into my cluttered kitchen and went to bed in my messy room, and the stress was compounded. So the following day, when I didn't have the motivation to work, I didn't want to speak to anyone, and I know couldn't be idle; I cleaned. Cleaned my kitchen, washed dishes, cleaned the tub. And in the midst of scrubbing down the walls, it hit me. I knew that messiness and filth in my house adds to my stress, so I had to clean. Because this is my house, no one else is going to take care of it for me. If I want it to be clean, I have to clean it. If I want it to be more comfortable and welcoming, I have to make it that way. I am the steward of this place and I have been slacking on my job. And the same is true for my life. If I want my life to be better, I have to make it that way. I have to be a better steward of my circumstances and work toward the future I want.
The key to all of this is patience. I was going to leave everything behind because I wanted to do more than just design. I want to travel the world, do art for the love and not for the money. What I failed to realize is that was precisely the path that I was on. I am overcoming hurdles from my past to create the very same life that I desire. I have to fight my way back to zero before I can start building again. I am working more now, so that I can have the life I envision in the future. I am not going to be here forever. I am just in the early stages of this marathon and there are no short cuts. If I stay on the path and I keep running, I have to reach the finish line. But I have to keep running! I can't quit. It's all about patience and perseverance.
P.S.- I am unpacking my bags. I am staying!
It's funny how when you want something so bad you overlook things that are right in front of your face... like already being on the path your suppose to be on. I can relate.
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration for me and I am glad you are staying. :)
Out of curiosity, did you delete your FB and Twitter accounts? I remember following you on both.
ReplyDeleteGood luck reaching your goals. Win that race!
Mary, thank you for the kind words. Frustration plays tricks on you sometimes and blinds you from what's there.
ReplyDeleteAlan, I actually did... but that's a whole other blog post. I will be back on facebook soon tho. I just had to get some things in order and gain clarity on my direction since I know people are watching. I want to make sure that I act responsibly, but I do feel bad for leaving people hanging. Twitter is still an internal debate right now. lol. Thank you for following tho!
Thank you for being so forthcoming on your blog. I find myself at times with the same plight. This is no easy path to carve out, the desire for not only the entrepreneurial spirit but to express it through art no less. At those moments when you sit quietly and meditate though, your heart knows it's direction. If this makes sense, you already are where you want to be, it's often that we are measuring the distance physically as opposed to spiritually. I hope you keep traveling, your work is beautiful. Hell, I hope I keep traveling too, there are a lot of hills in this journey.
ReplyDeleteAlex, very timely that I read this post tonight. This weekend I was in a weird space. I felt down and didn't know why. I would walk past the clutter and ignore it. Earlier today, I decided to clean. During the cleaning process, it felt as if it were also some sort of therapy. As I clean each room, the clear and open space has cleared my mind to to free of all that was bogging me down. I live in DC and I pray that I will hire you very, very soon to bring life to my space. I am amazed at each completed project I've seen and know you have the exact vision I have been searching for. Anyone can come up with a design, but it takes special mind to put as much effort into the intricate details as they do into the overall design itself. Hope to see you soon.
ReplyDeleteChris
Chris,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comments man. I hope you continue to remember this when times get crazy and your mind gets hectic.
Hammocks and high tea-I always appreciate your insight on my post, tweets ( when I was on twitter) and your constant support. Thank you. I will keep doing what Ido to the best of my ability